Tag: Glass

  • Breakfast of champions

    One day per week, from 6:15am to around 8am, guys line up with empty, heavy-duty mesh laundry bags to scoop their Commissary orders from a metal shoot into their bags while COs scan items and bark orders — at the customer and the incarcerated clerks. Each unit has their “Commissary day”, with some units combined,…

  • The Second Floor Toilet Persists

    “I’m doing my best, but some days are brutal,” says the 2nd floor, rear Glass House toilet, the most-popular by volume. “My brother works over at the Ritz Carlton on Collins. Second floor lobby, Men’s just like me, but that’s where the similarity ends. Most people don’t even know his room exists. He rarely has…

  • Muslim Mike Chooses Life

    “Everyone leaves prison with a million-dollar plan,” says Muslim Mike, as he’s affectionately known. “My plan is to be comfortable, have a steady job, a roof over my head, and a fridge brimming. Let the money chase me.” Mike, 6’2 with a physique that speaks to discipline, works in food service and talks about ingredients…

  • The 85 year-old little boy in prison

    “What were your parents like?” I ask Doc. Asking an 85-year-old man about his parents starts your brain doing math. They’ve have been born over 105 years ago… “My mom, and I know everybody says this, but my mom really was the hardest-working, sweetest woman that ever walked God’s Earth. Raised four boys without a…

  • SO. MANY. FARTS.

    I cannot overstate the amount of farts here. It’s like a French department store of farts, breathtaking in scope, variety, and airiness. Mel Brooks would say tone it down were these sound effects. The walls of Jerico would topple from the trumpeting. Hot air balloons would shoot into space if they flew over this place.…

  • Zionist Pimps, Trannys, and Party Promoters

    Shavua Tov from the Glass House. It’s Saturday Night and the guys are in their teal plastic chairs glued to the TVs, discussing loudly if any of the Miss Universe contestants are a tranny, which must be awkward for the resident tranny, who has a southern hick vibe, and is sitting on the stairs braiding…

  • My bed tent. Eureka!

    In the Glass House, there are no full walls around your cell, just cubicle partitions, about 5′ tall, so privacy is non existent… until, Eureka! I awoke from a (failed) nap with a plan! For those new to hearing about the Glass House, imagine a corporate office, but in each 8×8 cubicle they stuck: –…

  • Chanukah Decorations at Glass House

    Rubinstein’s got a tinsel Magen David hanging over the entrance to his cubby, and a “Happy Hanukah” (Well, “Happ_ Hanu_ah”… key letters missing) decoration across his front wall. He’s recruiting others. He asked me earlier, “Do you want Hanukkah decorations?” I thought he was trolling me. Where do you get Chanukah decorations in prison? I…