Earlier in the week I read in a commentary on the Torah, by Rabbi Boruch Adler, that the tradition states Cain was the product of the Nachash (serpent) and Chava, that the angel of death / evil inclination directed the Nachash to mate with Chava! Also, because Noah’s wife Naama descended from Cain, and we all descend from Noah and his wife, all humans are part Nachash, part evil-inclination.
This is a “mainstream” belief! Rashi, the popular commentary on the Torah printed in nearly every Chumash, agrees with this, as do other mainstream rabbinic commentaries. Some, however, say it’s a different Naama, and many of course, think Cain was the child of Adam, not the serpent.
Regardless, this belief disturbed me for days.
Where is “Free Will” if we have a build-in addiction to evil — if we are literally part “Evil Inclination”?
Why would G-d put such intrinsic evil into every person in the world?
Why breed evil into the world?
In reading Pirke Avot today, I got a good answer: We need to be part “Nachash” or we could not really strengthen the rest of our parts.
Pirke Avot 4:1: “Ben Zoma says… Who is strong? He who subdues his personal inclination.”
The Maharal (Prague) explains, if we fight external enemies we can never really know our strength, because perhaps they were weak in that moment. However, when we wrestle with an integral part of ourselves, we know what we are up against and what we overcame.
For me, this is a major theme of the past few years. My “defeats” were mostly internal, I became defeated and depressed mentally long before any “material” loss manifested. These “toxic” parts, or as we’d say now, hurt and misguided parts (even if well intentioned) cost me a lot, and hurt others.
The Nachash is internal, it wants you to quit, it wants to convince you that the world is Darkness and Evil, but that’s a lie… the Darkness you see is temporary, and only there so you can “wrestle” it back and have a tangible experience of the Light, G-d.
Today I got some rough news — but instead of falling into despair, I calmly listened, asked questions, and sprung into action wth a plan, and know that things will be good, that G-d will take care of things in the right time.
In doing so, I remarked to someone how two years ago, I’d be in bed, overwhelmed with despair, but instead I had confidence and hope, not as a coping mechanism, but a deep belief, a knowing. If not for this “negative”
news, I would not know how strong I’ve grown in this area of life. What would have devastated me and spiraled into more and more self-inflicted damage and loss was nothing but an opportunity to calmly figure out the next steps, which immediately resulted in people helping.
If I hadn’t been forced to wrestle that inner “Nachash”, I would not be able to stand strongly today.
The first line of Ben Zoma is, “Who is wise? Who who learns from every person.” I am reminded of Dr. Jordan Peterson’s lines, “Become a monster and learn to control it.” Also, “If you think strong men are scary, wait until you see what weak men are capable of.”
I was weak, or more-accurately, I allowed myself to belief I was weak, and it was frightening to myself and others.
By finally facing the inner nachash over the past few years, I have become much stronger, and know that even more strength, confidence, and faith is possible. I did not learn this from things which were obviously good, but from the “darkness”… which was ultimately good.
Shabbat Shalom, (“sssssssshabat sssssshalom” ~my snake part)
Ari =====
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